Let me just bitch about this picture for a second. First of all, I know for a fact that that is an Abercombie & Kids top because I read an article on Abercrombie making padded swim suit tops for twelve year-olds, initially marketing to seven year-olds but conflict and too many pissed off moms got them to bump it up to twelve. So just to begin with, we may be dealing with a sixth grader here. Okay guys, tell me honestly: does this attract you? First of all, this girl’s skin looks like leather. If she doesn’t already have melanoma, it is forming as I type. Second, and I’m not only saying this because I’m not a stick, but do protruding hip bones really turn you on? Because, for me, I think it’s gross. I’m not saying a girl has to be (insert PC “fat” word here) to be attractive, because that isn’t true, but I think this just looks unhealthy. I’ve never really bitched about society and physical appearance until right now, but really this is kind of ridiculous. Girls look at this and think “that’s what pretty looks like” and I’m telling you, it is definitely not. That, to me, looks pretty horrific. Sure, sun-kissed skin is sexy and very cute, but she looks like my wallet. I hate that I’m going to have to raise my future daughter(s) in a world where if you’re not a size 2 you’re not acceptable. What really makes a person beautiful is the size of their heart. So, all I’m saying is girls: do yourself (and me) a favor and add a tube of SPF 40 to your beach bag and don’t believe the hype that you’re supposed to look like this because I swear most of it is genetics. Being pretty is smiling every day and being a genuine friend, not orange skin and concave tummies.
Lately, all I do is work and it is so exhausting. Having two jobs is a complete catch-22; I make good money (most of the time) but I’m definitely beginning to feel the strain on the relationship I have with Anthony. It’s not that we fight more or I know him less, it’s just not possible to have the same relationship we had before I started working 50-60 hours a week. I see less of him which is so hard, and sometimes when I get caught up in my day I almost forget to think about him. This doesn’t scare me because I know how much I love him and that I’ll never really forget about him, but what does scare me is that he could be forgetting me. I’m also a very emotional person and whenever I see him I almost break down right there because my heart is just brimming with adoration for him. But Anthony isn’t like that. Where I could honestly gush for hours about how much I love my boyfriend, he just kind of smirks and pats me on the knee. I think it’s just because he’s a man, and I’m a woman who analyzes every single sentence and gesture and tone, but it still kind of blows. I know Anthony loves me and I can’t wait for us to move in together so our schedules aren’t as much of a problem, but until then it’s really hard to be without him so much. He’s my best friend, my love and truly my other (better) half; I really hate being apart from him.
"It’s waking up in the middle of the night for no reason, shifting under the blankets and feeling the heat of the person next to you. You turn around and see them in their most peaceful, innocent, and vulnerable state. They breathe as though the weight of the world rests on anyone’s shoulders but their own. You smile and kiss their face gently and somehow an involuntary grin forms on your face. After turning back around, just before you drift off to sleep, you feel an arm wrap around your waist."
It’s really easy to let yourself stick to what you know and not venture outside of your comfort zone. But sometimes you have to challenge yourself and step outside your little world and take a risk or two. I believe I’ve distanced myself from people or not allowed myself my “full potential” before because I was nervous about how people would react to me. I’m now realizing that people already like me! And if they didn’t, they wouldn’t be talking to me and trying to be my friend! It’s pretty simple, but one’s comfort zone can be quite the deterrent. I am not simple whatsoever.