One: Your current relationship. Is terrific. Anthony and I will have been together for one year on January 4th, 2011! I love him with all my heart and I always have. He’s truly a perfect match for me; we’re best friends, we enjoy the same things, we laugh at each others jokes and we don’t keep secrets from each other. Sure we bicker and bitch at each other all the time, but I love him nonetheless and I know he loves me, too. I can’t really think of what else to say about us, but I’m very happy with our relationship. I’ve never felt so comfortable with another human being in my entire life.
Two: Where you’d like to be in 10 years. That’s hard to say, because I can’t predict when I’ll get married. I don’t want to say “I’d like to be married” because I feel like then that infers that if I’m not married by then, I’ll be unhappy. I guess in 10 years I’d like to be happy, making money, with someone I truly love and hopefully planning out a family. I’ll be thirty in ten years (WOW) and that seems like a good time to be starting a family. I definitely don’t want kids when I’m twenty-four, and I want to be married before I have my kids; so to solidify that that’s the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. Not that having kids before marriage is bad, it’s just what I want. I want to have my newlywed years before I have kids.
Three: Your views on drugs and alcohol. Been there done that and really? It doesn’t do a whole lot for me. I’m probably going to have a drink or two when I’m 21, but until then I’m good. As for everyone else; do what you want! I can’t stop anyone from doing what they’re going to do, and judging them gets me nowhere (although I do judge each and every one of you). (; However, that statement is kind of pointed at all the kids I went to high school with that are now alcoholics. I guess in a more general sense, don’t do drugs. I mean, smoke pot and do whatever now that you’re young, but don’t snort coke and don’t huff computer duster because that shit will get you no where. Do whatever you want but don’t let it affect your work or school because you will be screwed and unlike being drunk or high, that shit will last for ever.
Four: Your views on religion. Religion is so corrupt and ass-backwards that I tend to avoid it at all costs. I’ve taken the college classes and done my research and religion today is not what the prophets of old intended it to be. For instance, so many view Islam as negative and associate it with 9/11 where in reality Islam had nothing to do with the attacks on the World Trade Center. Actually, those were just some crazy fuckers paid off by our government to kill a ton of people. 9/11 was a conspiracy, look it up. I’ve done plenty of research on Islam and truthfully if I had to follow one religion, I might pick that one. Christianity is such a joke I don’t even want to go near it. Watch Religulous and learn. I think it’s sick that the Bible has such an impact on today’s society. The Bible should have no effect on our laws, such as gay marriage. Why should one book pertain to an entire country, filled with people from all religions? I think people who are followers of God and not of religion are smart and I hope someday that religion will die out and everyone will lose their ignorance so that we can live in harmony. LOL, right?
Five: A time you thought about ending your own life. January through late February 2008 was the darkest time of my life. Mike and I broke up in December and I’d enjoyed my month of “single-ness” and was getting kind of lonely; when we broke up I had some notion in my head that I’d be able to find a new guy pretty quick, you can imagine how that went. Anyway, he had a new girl and I felt pretty left behind, even though I had broke up with him. I didn’t listen in school, I slept through classes, I stayed home whenever I could, I cried all the time, I cut myself, I wrote sad shit instead of taking notes in class; life was shitty. My mom knew I was really sad but there wasn’t a whole lot she could do about it. I think she just kind of monitored me and made sure I wasn’t going to do anything stupid. I never really seriously thought of killing myself, and here’s why: I knew my parents would be totally pissed. I’m 100% serious, I was like “no, I can’t kill myself because they’ll kill me!” Luckily, the sadness passed and I got better. I still get sad sometimes, but never like that. I think at the time I just had to let it run its course. I constantly had a million emotions and for a while I just had to feel them all and let them all out. I know now how strong I am and how much shit I can go through without breaking.
Six: Write 30 interesting facts about yourself. I prefer the radio to CDs or iPods. I haven’t cut my hair in months and I really love what’s happening to it. I believe my boyfriend to be the most handsome man on the planet. My favorite color is pink. I played clarinet in high school and I was really good at it. Sushi makes me gag. I want so badly to be able to sing well, I love to sing! When I grow up I want to be a stay-at-home mom. My cat hates me and I wish I could have a new one. Whales scare the living shit out of me; nothing that big can be good. I feel so invigorated to be out of high school. But I’m nervous as hell to be starting my twenties. I’d love to learn how to play the piano. I have plenty of tattoo ideas. I talk myself out of doing a lot of things. I’ve pretty much always called my parents by their first names. I prefer tea to coffee, with lots of sugar. I’ve been to 11 states, Puerto Rico, St. Thomas and the Bahamas. If I hadn’t turned 18 ten days after the election, I would’ve voted for Obama. I used to want to join the Peace Corps, now I’m not so sure. I’m definitely a realist. I hold my mother above all others; she is the smartest person I’ll ever know. Anthony says I cross my eyes a lot. Throughout high school I planned to graduate and then enlist to the marines. I love my green eyes, but I wish they were green-er. I’ve had one speeding ticket and two parking tickets in four years. I’ve totaled one Chevy Trail Blazer in twenty years. During winter my stomach and sides always itch. Since graduating high school, I’ve upped my feminine-ness. My handwriting is sooo dope, I’m so proud of it!
Seven: Your zodiac sign and if you think it fits your personality. My birthday is November 14th, making me a Scorpio. I don’t know, whenever I do read my Horoscope it’s either dead on or completely wrong. I don’t read them that often, either. Usually only when I get Cosmo. :)
Eight: A moment you felt most satisfied in your life. The only time that this could apply would be once I had graduated high school and cut all my hair off. It was such an enormous weight off my shoulders once I had finally finished and it was so freeing to cut my hair! I’d wanted to do it all my life but I was always in competition dance and couldn’t and to finally do it was absolutely invigorating. I miss my short hair a lot, but I’d probably never cut it again because some days all you want to do is put your hair in a ponytail, but then you remember you don’t have any hair!
Nine: How you hope your future will be like. I really hope my husband makes enough money so I can stay home and raise our babies. I would love nothing more than to be a housewife. Granted, I’ll probably want to get a job again when my kids are a little older, but I think it would be ideal to raise my babies and keep my house the way I want it, because I’m insane like that. I hope to own a home, be happily married, have nice cars, pretty much what everyone wants. I just want money to be secure and to be living safe and happily.
Ten: Discuss your first love and your first kiss. Ohhh boy. My first love was Mike Hansen. I noticed him around school and was somewhat interested, but totally shy, so when my best friend Erin told me she liked him I kept my mouth shut. Well he and Erin only dated for like two weeks and only kissed once so when they broke up I made my move, with Erin’s approval. My first kiss was ideal; my head was on his chest and he lifted my chin up to his mouth and then there were fireworks. Mike and I dated for two years and it was mostly good, but towards the end he just got increasingly clingy and I felt as if I were being suffocated so I had to end it. You shouldn’t constantly wish you weren’t with somebody and then stay with them. I don’t regret the relationship, he taught me a lot and we were best friends. :)
Eleven: Put your iPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up. Since my iPod is dead, how about I just list ten kick ass songs?! In no order: 1. The Show Goes On, Lupe Fiasco 2. My Boy Builds Coffins, Florence + the Machine, 3. Guns and Ammo, Minus the Bear, 4. Purexed, P.O.S. 5. Breaker Down Like a Shotgun, Felt 6. I Don’t Wanna Know, New Found Glory 7. The Kill, 30 Seconds To Mars 8. Little Lion Man, Mumford and Sons 9. Electric Feel, MGMT 10. Oh My God, Ida Maria Kinda trendy, I know. :)
Twelve: Bullet your whole day. Well because I’m so psycho about how my page looks, I’ll do it using commas. I’m warning you, I didn’t do shit today. :p Woke up, peed, went back to sleep, rolled over and put my arm around Anthony, slept even more, woke up to Anthony being annoying, lied in bed a while longer, looked at Strike Gently, complained about being hungry, got driven home by Anthony, changed, ate chicken and potatoes and corn, watched Law and Order for five hours, took some Ibuprofen for my headache, went downstairs and got on the computer, trolled the internet for a while, ended up on Tumblr, now I’m doing this. What a boring day! And by day I mean life. :p
Thirteen: Somewhere you’d like to move or visit. How could I begin to narrow this down! Moving, not so much. I don’t think I’ll ever move out of Minnesota, at least not for good. I think I want to raise my kids here because it just feels like home. Somewhere I’d like to visit on the other hand is everywhere. I know everyone says it, but Europe. I know it’s just gorgeous over there and I want to see it all for myself. I definitely want to visit Greece, Italy and Spain! I think it, though somewhat grotesque, would be interesting to visit Auschwitz or a site pertaining to the Holocaust. It’s the war I find I like to learn about the most and when I visited the museum in Washington DC I was mesmerized. I’d also like to visit Japan, because I know Anthony would like that. :)
Fourteen: Your earliest memory. I have no clue! I have a lot of sporadic memories, but there’s no telling from when they happened. I do have this one memory of when I was really little, it probably stuck because I was completely fucking terrified. I don’t know how old I was, but it was my parents and I, my aunt and uncle and cousins, and some family friends and we were camping somewhere in the woods. I guess the men had played a trick and the women decided to get their revenge. They all went out into the woods, taking me with them, and found a hiding spot for my aunt Sue. Then all of a sudden they all ran out of the trees screaming “Somebody took Sue!” as if there was someone else in the woods! My cousin Jill was carrying me and I remember my dad ripping me out of her arms. I don’t remember what happened after that, but I was scared shitless. Oh, but my aunt Sue was fine. I’m guessing they all had a good laugh after that while I rocked back and forth in a tent somewhere! No biggie!
Fifteen: Your favorite Tumblrs. I don’t follow a ton of people on Tumblr, mostly just my friends and a couple of other blogs. I follow this one blog that Anthony hates that only posts vintage/trendy pictures! And I follow a few gay pride blogs because I support the homos! :)
Sixteen: Your views on mainstream music. If “mainstream music” refers to KDWB, then I love it! I mostly listen to the radio whenever I’m driving so I pretty much know every word to every song. I do however enjoy less popular music or artists that the common stranger wouldn’t know. I like mainstream music because it’s catchy, but I love Lupe Fiasco and Minus the Bear because there’s more to it and it isn’t so over-produced.
Seventeen: Your highs and lows of this past year. Well, my lows I could narrow down to two blows: my hamster dying and losing my uncle Mike to cancer. I know those aren’t totally comparable, but they were both really hard for me. I really loved my Little Chef and it was hard watching him die every day. He had a swollen foot that turned into a huge mass on his side and towards the end he was just miserable. It was especially sad because the night before he died I took him out and he was so energetic! I had him out for maybe an hour and when I put him back in his cage he just kind of lied there, like he was so depressed being in there. I woke up the next morning and spent the entire day crying before I buried him in my backyard. :’( I’ve never known anyone with cancer, so when my uncle Mike got it it was almost unreal. He had been on chemo for a few months before I saw him for the first time (since being diagnosed) at my graduation party in June 2009, but it never registered in my mind that he wouldn’t have hair. I was so embarrassed when I had to look twice to recognize my favorite uncle. I don’t remember the last time I saw him besides my grad party before he passed, but I guess that’s kind of a blessing. My mom told me how sick he was and I guess I don’t want to remember him that way. I’ll always remember him as short and scruffy with wild hair, always carrying a big cup filled with Mountain Dew. And every time I saw him he’d call out “Wee-wah!” My cousin Jon couldn’t pronounce my name when we were little and the nickname stuck with Mike. It was really hard going to his funeral, I hadn’t been to one since I was eleven and everything was more real this time. I get really sad when I think about him, but even though I’m sad the memories I have of him never cease to make me smile. The highs of my year include; road-tripping to Chicago with my three best friends, starting a relationship that has continued without many bumps, getting hired at Old Navy and enjoying my job and my co-workers, and turning twenty and becoming more independent as each day goes by. 2010 was a good year for memories and I’m looking forward to 2011 to make even more.
Nineteen: Disrespecting your parents. Here’s the deal: I can mess with my parents all I want because they are MY parents. But when someone else comes along and disses my dad, then I get pissed. I love and respect my parents and yeah, I give them shit from time to time, but I hate nothing more than when people poke fun at my dad. He’s quirky, get over it. My dad is an interesting fucking guy and I love him to death. I used to be friends with a girl who would come to my house and just rag on my dad, whether he was in the room or not. That girl obviously wasn’t a friend and it drove me nuts. The bottom line is I try and be a good kid to my parents as much as I can, but they still get on my nerves pretty much on a daily basis. But they’re my mom and dad and I reserve my right to say whatever I want about them! Love my parents. :)
Twenty: How important you think education is. Of course. Well, I know that getting a degree is on the list of things I must do to succeed in life/make money, but I really loathe school. It’s such a stress and I just want to be done already. And also, I really don’t retain half the shit I learn. One of the classes I just finished was Ancient and Medieval World History. What am I going to take from that class and apply to the real world? It’s just so tedious. I know getting an education is important and that I can’t avoid it, I’m just fed up with school.
Twenty-one: One of your favorite shows. Law and Order: Special Victims Unit. I could watch this show all day every day and never get tired of it. In fact, I watched a marathon today from three until eight! I love the characters and the story lines are never boring. Obviously they are unrealistic, but everything on TV is fake! I should invest in the seasons of SVU, though I might never again leave the house!
Twenty-two: How have you changed in the past two years? I’ve become a lot more independent and I’d say that’s the biggest change. I never ask my parents for money and I buy everything I need for myself on my own, including food. The only things I don’t pay for are my cell phone and my car, which I’ve offered to pay for. My goal this spring is to move out with two of my good friends and my boyfriend and I think that will be a total culture shock, but I’m excited. I think I’ll be pretty broke for a while but I think it will learn to appreciate money a lot more.
Twenty-three: Name 5 guys who are famous that you find attractive. Zach Braff, Daniel Radcliffe, Michael C. Hall, John Mayer, Orlando Bloom.
Twenty-four: Your favorite movie and what it’s about. Currently, the LOTR trilogy. It’s about good vs evil and all that good stuff, but I’m sure you’ve seen it. I just really love the storyline! I really want to read the books because I bet they’re amazing. The struggle Frodo goes through seems to hit home with me. He is broken down entirely and he’s left with nothing, but he continues to fight for his friends. I’m going to watch Two Towers tonight. :)
Twenty-five: Someone who fascinates you and why. Nobody in particular fascinates me, but certain types of people do! Idiots who come into my places of employment fascinate me. Babies fascinate me. Celebrities fascinate me. I guess I’m not very easily fascinated! Goofy question. :p
Twenty-six: What kind of person attracts you. I’m attracted to intelligent, assured, self-confident, goofy, sexy, emotional, aware people. Those words seem kind of sporadic, but they were the first to come to my mind and for good reason. I like people who are smart, and know they’re smart. People that are funny a good majority of the time, but are still able to hold deep conversations. And I love people who are down to earth and not ignorant. I mostly like everyone I meet, but I thoroughly enjoy these qualities.
Twenty-seven: A problem that you have had. I have a problem with being sad. Not always, but sometimes I get really sad and just want to curl up into a ball. When it happens it really fucking sucks, but I always remember to reassure myself that I’ll feel better soon and remind myself not to do or say anything I’ll regret.
Twenty-eight: Something that you miss. Honestly? High school. I miss all the gossip and drama and constant socialization. It’s true while I was there that all I wanted was to be done, but now that I’m out I kind of wish I could go back. I miss having all those friends and seeing them every day. Now I work two jobs and go to school nine hours a week and don’t see my friends a whole lot. I just miss the simplicity of high school; my only worries were what I was going to wear the next day and if I had finished my assignments or not.
Twenty-nine: Goals for the next 30 days. Hmm. A better word would be “stressors”. I need to see a counselor at school and figure what classes I need to take next semester, pay my tuition, and write two papers and get a decent grade on my history final. I also need to sit down and really think about moving out in a few months. 2011 is going to be a year full of changes and I need to mentally prepare myself as well as manage my money better and get ready to start paying bills!
Thirty: Your highs and lows of this month. My highs would definitely include finishing this semester; I’m tired of these classes! I’m doing well at my job and that makes me happy, it’s December which means presents, and I’ve been with my wonderful boyfriend for nearly a year now! This month I’ve been mostly happy, so I don’t have many lows. In fact, I really can’t think of any right now! This month has been nice. :)